Glimpse Into Madness

Assuming you are really bored, assuming you've checked out all the rest of the site has to offer, assuming you enjoy the feeling of hitting your thumb with a hammer and the screech of nails on chalk boards -- at the same time -- then, by all means, proceed. What follows is the most information you will get from the one who calls himself master of this domain, your Uncle Gobbo -- Bimblesnaff the Mad Goblin.

What? This page or written paragraphs is too hard for you to comprehend in getting to know someone? Then, maybe this is more up your alley? Whadaya mean "antiquated"? It was all the rage only a handful of a years ago. Damn fad turnover rates...

A Face to the Fiend

First of all, the basic fundamentals of just who I really am, or, as I tell it, a disappointment. My true identity is Shane Louis Cantu. My heritage is Italian/Mexican and Caucasian/Scottish. This leads to ... not really anything interesting. My hair is a dark brown, and my eyes are a bland brown as well, making me visually unappealing. Toss in an untanned, unhealthy skin tone that refuses to pale beyond a certain point due to inherited pigment, and you get a very boring appearance. My hair, after a good decade of being shaved nearly to completely bald, has been allowed to grow untrimmed in the slightest for over a year.

My decision those many years ago to identify with the grotesque goblin were quite relevant as I look the freak. Lanky, long limbs; protruding, knobby bones; a big, dented head; and paddles that I have to call feet.

Got two brothers (one older and one twin) and two parents. Yes, I feel that needs mentioned. Damn collapse of the traditional family. I grew up in Ohio, boring capital of the world. It couldn't have even been Cleveland, oh no. It was in a nearby county, slightly offset to the west of Cleve' and east of Toledo, meaning both major cities dodged this stink hole. Despite the sucking, I stayed rooted in this excuse for a state until twenty-four years old. After that, I jumped ship north to Michigan. Is that an improvement, even, I don't know?

A Few Things

I never had an interesting nickname that I didn't create -- or at least one that I supported. I began the internet and still use Beany Joe, but that evolved into a character in Not Quite Heroes and was changed out for another. At an old community I belonged to, and some others, I was known as Jackdaw. This, however, developed into the character Dead Man Jed, so that needed dropped. Mad Goblin is the most familiar, or at least was for a number of years. It came about creating a two-column table that listed two sets of words for things I felt made a good company name. Out of them, ol' Gobbo stuck the best. That wouldn't last forever, however, as I wanted a name that would never be taken by another individual past or future. That name turned out to be Bimblesnaff. Despite dropping names for one prior and external use, ol' 'Snaff was kept around since, oh, five others used the MG name. Apparently, that was the magic number.

I'm a good ol' fashion traditional nerd. I was geek before it was chique. Video games, Saturday morning cartoons, actions figures -- these all played an important part in my adolescence. While a birth in '83 didn't leave me much time to develop into a true '80s child, I had a brother older by four years. When very young, I had all that pop culture instilled upon me. Which, of course, that sucks. I didn't belong to the eighties and the early nineties sure didn't want me, so I was kinda tossed in a limbo. Luckily, I detest socializing, and the '90s blew hard, so it all worked out in the end. Or, I ignored the outcome and am indifferent to the results. Either way, here I am.

I was born under the Zodiac of Virgo in the Year of the Boar. Not to agree with astronomy in any way, I am the most stunning and truest exemplar of these predestinations. It's almost frightening. Cut out any of the misplaced junk involving "charm" and a quick synopsis on those gives a pretty good synopsis on me. A loner, meticulous, a hard-ass, introvert, intellectual, and all around hard-to-get-alone-with jerk. Really, you could just shorten it with "a-hole", but the stretch is a bit more PG, right?

Personally

My interests are rather predictable: mythology, fantasy, and science fiction. First off, Dungeons & Dragons, baby! From Advanced 2.0 to v3.5, I love it all, and I say "all" ignoring v4. It would be more versions back but I... wasn't old enough to know any more... Outside of that, there's always good old card games! Nothing says "I have too much time and money" than overpaying for little slips of multicolored paper. Hey, at least it's perdy. My tastes, strangely, shy away from what would be expected. I tend to only like games that get canned and go unappreciated. Go figure. Things like Guardians by FPG, Magi-Nation from II, Dragon Storm from Black Dragon Press, and Dragon War from RAK Graphics. That stuff is good, especially the last one. It's by the guy who made Chakan the Forever Man, you know. Ohio based. Who knew? Met 'im. Great guy. And, yes, I am plugging him in a segment that is supposed to be about myself.

I really wish I could say I had some favorite books or movies... but I don't. I'm horrible. I rarely see movies (comparatively) and almost never see them a second time, and my time to read is sparse. I mean, I could make it, sure, but why? I've never gotten to experience most classics or greats, just a few odds and ends now and then. Still, it gravitates to those three pockets of interest mentioned at the top. Really, if it ain't a big ass dragon fighting a bio-tech robot from space, why should anyone care about it? If needed to pick, I'd say The Hobbit, Godzilla, and Tremors are top-rankers.

Professionally

My "education" came from one Clearview (if you could call it such; my grade school ciriculum covered the same material. Damn public schools.) and the University of Toledo where I earned a Bachelor degree in Bioengineering (and a Minor in Chemistry to boot, which has probably served me better than the major).

My professions have run a wide gambit. I started off doing light carpentry work with my father, moved on to odd-jobs at a gun club (mostly pulling/score keeping), and even worked as a "secretary" at city hall (much to the dismay of the highschool girls who would have to follow my time there -- apparently, I raised the bar too high). After getting somewhat trained for a profession, I dabbled in testing nano-dispensing robotics and assaying with global big-dog Pfizer and spliced open many of rats for a toxicology firm.

With my degree in hand, I was ready for the world of ... chemical testing of medical products? How did I wind up with that job, exactly? It wouldn't last long, however, as within the year I got employed at MSU in ... high throughput screening of plant material for improved potential biomass use? This is why I stare blankly at interviewers when they ask "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Who the hell could know.

What's the Deal?

Why did I do this? Well, I started this website back in the era of personal websites. There were no web logs or social pitfalls. Sickenly, the site started with a bunch of false direction. Its first real target was my crap-tastic fanatic fiction, "Lost Soul" (which still lingers), and it just grew from there. More writing, more stories, more characters, more drawings, more madness. I always create, always have. I wish I just learned to flush that effort through here sooner. Comics, stories, artwork. The only way it could be more rewarding was if people actually looked at it. On second thought, that would blow. Most everything here is embarrassing. So, really, leave right now. C'mon. Get. Get! An' don't come back.

Closing Words

And, lastly, I hate everything and everyone, all the time, always. 'Cuz I'm a bastard. See ya in hell.
- Shane L. Cantu, the Mad Goblin

Last Modified - August 19th, 2010 | Established - May 27th, 2001